Author: Victoria Sutton, MS Psychology

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Those Relatives

It would be comforting if we could say that we liked each family member. Unfortunately, there are always a few with unpleasant personalities.  Some could be duplicitous, monopolize conversations, insensitive, always looking for an argument, ruining family gatherings and other activities. How do we handle situations?

On the surface it would appear juvenile to ask the organizer of an event if a particular relative was attending to avoid them.  We may even behave covertly: Who’s invited? However, we have to discern if the event is worth bypassing to avoid unpleasantness, or a celebration for a relative we love dearly which allows us to overlook potential difficulties.

We also have to ask ourselves what role we play within the family structure.  Examples are:

Peacemaker.  Understands each personality among family members and works behind the scenes, speaking with troublesome relatives, warning them to be on their best behavior. They’re unafraid to rein them in, if necessary.

Lifeguard.  Saving members when a relative gets beside themselves: You attended the museum recently. Tell me all about it about it (as they escort the offended party out of the room).

Distraction Expert.  Prevents a negative conversation from brewing: I found the most amazing sales!  I’ll show you on the Internet. 

Comic.  Reduces tension in the air, disarming unkind relatives in their tracks.

These members can work in concert to prevent situations from getting out of hand.

Conclusion

We can’t avoid difficult relatives forever.  Being around them gives us practice for self-government, emotional maturation, and emotional intelligence when dealing with challenging personalities in general.  However, if certain family members are way too extreme in the problems they cause, the best solutions are excluding them from family gatherings, not seeking them out independently hoping they’ve finally modified behaviors, and ignoring potential fallout.

Vikki

A Natural Fit
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A Natural Fit

It’s exciting to hear about therapists who expand the psychological discipline!  In her article  for the American Psychological Association (APA), Tori DeAngelis discusses how the science is evolving to advance patient quality of life with exercise-talk therapy.   Sessions held in the great outdoors can be an alternative for patients who feel confined within the typical office environment. 

Vikki

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Patient Evaluation: Logistics

Observing, asking questions, and taking blood pressure don’t go far enough when a mental health professional has a new patient.  As a result, many can be diagnosed with psychiatric conditions where none exist, and prescribed medicine unnecessarily.  Let’s take a look at other assessments worthy to include.

Ongoing Discussions About Healthier Food Selections

Sodium may be the culprit for mood swings and depression because the patient is consuming unhealthy amounts of processed foods, soda, junk food, beef, and pork products.  The patient suffering from anger management issues will especially have difficulties because the foods are aggravating the condition.  Sugars can be another problem.  In children who may have developed a sudden personality change, fruit juices (ex. orange, pineapple, cranberry) may be too sweet for developing brains.  In some adults, brain chemistry cannot support certain sugars which can result with their experiencing symptoms associated with psychiatric difficulties.

The patient with sleeping difficulties and headaches may need look no further than their morning beverage to find the source of their problems. Caffeine is found in coffee and tea and nurtures a host of body ailments.* All of us have blood vessels throughout our bodies. After caffeine consumption, vessels become compressed making it difficult for blood flow. This pressure causes headaches, upper and lower backaches, pinched nerve and bunion flare-ups. Also, a patient may inform the clinician they have panic attacks because of nervousness and heart palpitations confronting them on a regular basis. These symptoms could originate from caffeine.

Daily consumption of 4 – 5 tall glasses of water is an  important ritual to flush out impurities which may have backed up in the system.

B-12 Vitamin Supplements

Even if caffeine overconsumption isn’t a problem for the patient experiencing nervousness, they can anticipate symptom reduction from daily B-12 usage because the vitamin regulates the nervous system.  Helping the body’s metabolism during weight loss programs, and maintaining the smaller body frame, is an added benefit when including B-12.

Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)

An MRI can indicate whether a patient is suffering from tumors and other abnormalities which could be either masking as a psychiatric condition, or creating lesser mental health difficulties (bottom-up causation).  For the patient who was already prescribed medicine, it’s no wonder pills aren’t working.

Blood testing

This assessment can tell a mental health worker if a sexually transmitted disease (ex. syphilis) is causing symptoms associated with schizophrenia, or other psychiatric difficulties.

Conclusion

When additional assessments are exhausted before the clinician writes out prescriptions, many patients can forego side affects which medications deliver.

*Caffeine is also found in soda and cocoa (chocolate) products.

Vikki

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Self-Esteem

A belief remains in society that high “self-esteem” equates to healthy ego. Let’s correct that notion.  The individual with healthy self-esteem thinks positively because they view themselves as a work in progress. At the other end of the spectrum, the individual with high self-esteem thinks negatively because they view themselves an embodiment of perfection. And that’s unrealistic.

Vikki

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Well…

A dialogue on mental health can be addressed from numerous perspectives.  We should always indicate that we feel badly for individuals experiencing psychological difficulties. But we’re not expressing ourselves totally if we fail to acknowledge how some of those behaviors affect others. This post is meant to rectify that omission.

Psychology is everywhere and especially in the workplace. After spending so many hours together on a weekly basis, it’s difficult not to observe the varied behaviors. Positive attitudes are a must for every level of an organization.  And there’s never enough of them. Unfortunately, there are workers with negative mental default buttons. If we’re completely honest, they take air out of a room.  Those behaviors leave us shaking our heads in disbelief, wincing with pain, and with nerves worn out.  Some of the issues we may observe are:

  • Anger Management Difficulties
  • ASPD (First Level)
  • Toxic Complainers
  • Mercurial (not BPD)
  • Nosey-Parkers (this isn’t a mental health issue, per se, but it’s troublesome behavior)
  • Rigid Thinkers (unbeknownst to them, they’re setting themselves up for anxiety disorders)

And we can’t leave out NPD.  Each one of us have known, or knows, individuals with this condition.  Which brings us to someone we’ll refer to as Sebastian to protect his identity. He was a new peer.  Twenty-six years old, Vice President, brainy and demonstrated his proficiencies. All of us liked him, until he shot himself in the foot. And kept shooting. The following is a series of events.

  • Periodically throughout the year, meetings were held for new hires.  Each was introduced and spoke briefly about work experiences and personal interests. Sebastian indicated he was champing at the bits to bring value to the firm, addressed skills, and how much he couldn’t wait to work with everyone. Then, he made derogatory comments about his former company.
  • “How’s everyone doing?”  There was none of that.  He didn’t believe in greeting people at work, not even the boss.  “Let’s go to lunch and discuss the new project.” It didn’t happen. “I play golf on the weekends.  Come.” He never said it.  Sebastian wasn’t interested in getting along with anyone at work.  He lacked people skills.
  • The organization provided on-site Professional Development every quarter.  He was in one of the sessions a few weeks after his arrival.  All of us were excited about the program as we filled into the training facility.  That excitement quickly dissipated, however. Sebastian interrupted the trainer repeatedly, gave his thoughts and experience, corrected the instructor, with the rest of us interrupting him to be quiet.
  • None of us knew what exactly occurred.  There was a heated conversation in the hallway between Sebastian and the Human Resource Director, with the latter advising the former, Cool it! The Director had a laid-back personality, and we hadn’t ever seen his feathers ruffled until this incident.
  • There was nothing inappropriate about Sebastian having time off for external professional development. Others were granted similar permission.  It was his bragging as though he had a sense of entitlement which was inappropriate.

Conclusion

Sebastian reminds me of a classmate in grade school.  He couldn’t govern himself an hour before he was sent down to the principal’s office.

A lighter touch, fragrance of humor, modifying the ego, all could have assisted him greatly before he completed his first employment application.

Did he see it coming that Friday morning when he was introduced to his replacement?

Vikki

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Apologists and Skewed Priorities

It’s stunning the many apologists there are for juveniles with the most deplorable behaviors imaginable. They would have us to believe dangerous adolescents are upstanding citizens who deserve a slap on the back for a job well done.  In reality, they’re Poster Children for Bad Behavior, with a high percentage beyond rehabilitation.  The apologist community needs to re-configure its thinking: Give accolades to juveniles who’ve earned them.

They have admirable behaviors, strong emotional maturation and intelligence, healthy study skills to excel in academia, enthusiasm about the future, intellectual curiosity, and pleasant dispositions.  They’re good people!  Any could become the next CEO we read about in business magazines. Regardless of goals, they have attractive standards.

It’s these youths who deserve praise. Not those who disturb the peace of our lives and if given the opportunity, wouldn’t have a second thought about murdering us.

Instead of disparaging voices of reason, and making excuses for negative behaviors, time would be best spent working alongside legislators in establishing alternative schools (and housing) for dangerous juveniles to keep them separated from the law-abiding public.

I look forward to your comments.

Vikki

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Parenting Styles

Let’s discuss a few “parenting styles” to gain a better understanding of their consequences.

Authoritarian ~ Harsh, strict, short-sighted approach.  Parents demand offspring adhere to rules.  They punish instead of having conversations with them when behavioral difficulties arise.   Explanations are left unaddressed why rules are necessary to prevent further re-occurrences.  Parents don’t provide the gentle nudge to encourage goals.  They shove.  Also, they’re hypercritical when goal outcomes are less than ideal.

  • Pros:  When using the Authoritative approach on a permanent basis, the Authoritarian discipline may prove useful, only for rare occasions, to shock offspring into action in preventing any further negative behaviors. When the Authoritarian approach is the sole parenting method, offspring can rise from their harsh upbringing and experience a positive quality of life.
  • Cons:  When used in the extremes, the Authoritarian approach is child abuse. Mental health issues (ex. substance abuse, anxiety disorders) could result.

Authoritative  ~ Democratic, relaxed, proactive approach.  Parents are nurturing and warm towards offspring.  There’s that easy-does-it way about them.  It’s heard in their speech. Children understand there are boundaries which they cannot cross.  Parents show up in their children’s lives for the various extra-curricula activities and provide emotional support in goals.

  • Pros:  Offspring have a far better chance of a happy childhood, and strong foundation for healthy emotional maturation for adulthood.
  • Cons:  None.

Helicopter ~ Overprotective, highly responsive, controlling, deeply involved, proactive approach.  There are many issues parents and children discuss together on a regular basis, and proper behaviors is one of them. However, it’s understandable when parents visit universities that offspring are accepted, but unusual, although becoming a norm, to sit with them on interviews for employment.

  • Pros:  In many circumstances, parents and offspring have positive relationships. They participate in activities together.
  • Cons:  Offspring have to learn to make decisions on their own.  They can experience mental health difficulties because of this dependency and parental smothering.

Indulgent ~ Responsive, undemanding, short-sighted approach.   Parents give offspring everything they wish, but fail to establish rules.  Offspring become spoiled to the nth degree, may not understand boundaries, how to treat others respectfully, and that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

  • Pros:  Once offspring recognize parental deficiencies, they can overcome experiences by learning appropriate behaviors.
  • Cons:  The potential is high for offspring experiencing NPD/anxiety disorders.

Neglectful ~ Laissez faire, non-involved, non-responsive, short-sighted approach.  Parents are involved in their own lives and social functions, and not their offspring’s. They provide for their children with the necessities in life, but fail to instruct them about appropriate behaviors and supervise them.  Offspring are constantly getting into all sorts of difficulties. There aren’t meaningful conversations, thus parents are unaware (unconcerned?) about the feelings of offspring.

  • Pros:  Offspring can move beyond their upbringing by learning appropriate behaviors.
  • Cons:  Child abuse.  Some of these parents could be experiencing NPD because of their self-indulgence.  Offspring could become engaged in non-criminal negative behaviors (i.e., ASPD Level 1) throughout their lifetime, or incarcerated for far worse.

I  look forward to your comments.

Vikki

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The Trayvon Martin Case and Pathologies

There are several elephants in the room.  Let’s explore them.

Pathologies:

  • History Revisited.  Since the 1980’s, there’s been a culture, a mindset, a philosophy, which has swept over American youths: Rap/Hip-Hop–The music, drugs, language, clothes, weapons, drive-by shootings, and horrific gang initiations. Fortunately, not all young people subscribe to the ideology.  Those who have live in juvenile detention facilities, then moved into adult prisons.
  • Personal History. The deceased was suspended from school repeatedly, used drugs, wanted a gun, engaged in physical altercations, and used abominable language towards and about others.   Why wasn’t he under the care of a psychiatrist?
  • Societal Menace. The question isn’t Why did George Zimmerman get out of his car, but instead Why was the deceased outside during evening hours in the first place without parental supervision? 
  • Skill Deficiencies. Because the deceased lived in a crime-ridden neighborhood, and wasn’t under parental supervision, constructive skills to defuse situations would have gone a long way. When confronted by Zimmerman, the deceased merely had to say Talk to my father.
  • Limited Worldview. Parents have to socialize their children beginning at a young age, getting them into the world, where they become involved in activities with diverse groups.  The process needs reinforcing until adulthood.   Youth will experience a stunted personal development if parents fail to provide this necessity. Clearly, the deceased only knew his front and back doors.
  • Rachel Jeantel.  Only her former educators can address if she’s an example of voluntary illiteracy.  She and the deceased were contemporaries on so many levels.
  • Irony. People nurturing conflict, making threats, engaging in physical and verbal altercations against others because of this case, are unwittingly participants of the culture which has permeated American society for over thirty years.  They, too, can be considered societal menaces.
  • Playing the victim. It’s one thing to be a victim, and another to play the role.  When a victim regains their life and engages in constructive pursuits, society respects them. Society doesn’t respect the victim. Society feels sorry for the victim.  In fact, when the role is played too long, society views the individual with contempt.  Respect and sorrow are mutually exclusive entities.
  • Acceptance. Many parents have buried offspring from gang violence.  Where are the mass demonstrations in the hundreds of thousands across America every year?
  • Acceptance. Many parents have buried offspring from gang violence.  Where are their voices in Congressional hearings, demanding clothing lines and music labels associated with the culture get shut down?
I look forward to your comments.

 

Vikki