On Time Management, A Spiritual Message

The day will come when all of us will reflect on our lives.  As is the case, most reflections are performed brutally honest.  The following are important issues to consider:

  • Did we engage in the practice of lifting up others, or did we tear them down?
  • Will our nickname be called Peacemaker, or Instigator–always searching for problems to ignite?
  • Will we have the ability to describe ourselves long-tempered/even-tempered, or as individuals who should have entered anger management therapy long ago?
  • Are we positive role models worth emulating, or something else entirely?
  • In conflicts, and where appropriate, did we offer kindness (i.e., humor/ignoring/remaining silent) to defuse unpleasant situations, or were we always at the ready to argue, swing a punch?
  • Did we harbor intelligence, or a limited mind based upon disparaging comments spewed at others (and about others) on a regular basis?
  • Were we inclusive because we like people, or engage in anti-semitism, bigotry, prejudice, racism, homophobia predicated on self-hatred?
  • Did our attitudes and behaviors bring good people around us, or did good people run/scatter/perform u-turns to escape from us because of our foul attitudes and behaviors?
  • Did envy and a jealous nature live beneath us, or will these attributes have front-row chairs in our hearts and minds?
  • Shall we have understood that life pertained to long-term self-improvement, or utter such nonsense that we are examples of perfection itself?
  • Will we say that love, compassion for others have been the hallmark of our lives, or that we lived a life of selfishness?  Can we say we were spending our lives making numerous attempts to become people our Heavenly Father can be proud of?

May everyone have peace, happiness, love, an abundance of life, and positive reflection on that special day.

 

Vikki

 

Those Relatives

It would be comforting if we could say that we liked each family member. Unfortunately, there are always a few with unpleasant personalities.  Some could be duplicitous, monopolize conversations, insensitive, always looking for an argument, ruining family gatherings and other activities. How do we handle situations?

On the surface it would appear juvenile to ask the organizer of an event if a particular relative was attending to avoid them.  We may even behave covertly: Who’s invited? However, we have to discern if the event is worth bypassing to avoid unpleasantness, or a celebration for a relative we love dearly which allows us to overlook potential difficulties.

We also have to ask ourselves what role we play within the family structure.  Examples are:

Peacemaker.  Understands each personality among family members and works behind the scenes, speaking with troublesome relatives, warning them to be on their best behavior. They’re unafraid to rein them in, if necessary.

Lifeguard.  Saving members when a relative gets beside themselves: You attended the museum recently. Tell me all about it about it (as they escort the offended party out of the room).

Distraction Expert.  Prevents a negative conversation from brewing: I found the most amazing sales!  I’ll show you on the Internet. 

Comic.  Reduces tension in the air, disarming unkind relatives in their tracks.

These members can work in concert to prevent situations from getting out of hand.

Conclusion

We can’t avoid difficult relatives forever.  Being around them gives us practice for self-government, emotional maturation, and emotional intelligence when dealing with challenging personalities in general.  However, if certain family members are way too extreme in the problems they cause, the best solutions are excluding them from family gatherings, not seeking them out independently hoping they’ve finally modified behaviors, and ignoring potential fallout.

Vikki