Let’s discuss a few “parenting styles” to gain a better understanding of their consequences.
Authoritarian ~ Harsh, strict, short-sighted approach. Parents demand offspring adhere to rules. They punish instead of having conversations with them when behavioral difficulties arise. Explanations are left unaddressed why rules are necessary to prevent further re-occurrences. Parents don’t provide the gentle nudge to encourage goals. They shove. Also, they’re hypercritical when goal outcomes are less than ideal.
- Pros: When using the Authoritative approach on a permanent basis, the Authoritarian discipline may prove useful, only for rare occasions, to shock offspring into action in preventing any further negative behaviors. When the Authoritarian approach is the sole parenting method, offspring can rise from their harsh upbringing and experience a positive quality of life.
- Cons: When used in the extremes, the Authoritarian approach is child abuse. Mental health issues (ex. substance abuse, anxiety disorders) could result.
Authoritative ~ Democratic, relaxed, proactive approach. Parents are nurturing and warm towards offspring. There’s that easy-does-it way about them. It’s heard in their speech. Children understand there are boundaries which they cannot cross. Parents show up in their children’s lives for the various extra-curricula activities and provide emotional support in goals.
- Pros: Offspring have a far better chance of a happy childhood, and strong foundation for healthy emotional maturation for adulthood.
- Cons: None.
Helicopter ~ Overprotective, highly responsive, controlling, deeply involved, proactive approach. There are many issues parents and children discuss together on a regular basis, and proper behaviors is one of them. However, it’s understandable when parents visit universities that offspring are accepted, but unusual, although becoming a norm, to sit with them on interviews for employment.
- Pros: In many circumstances, parents and offspring have positive relationships. They participate in activities together.
- Cons: Offspring have to learn to make decisions on their own. They can experience mental health difficulties because of this dependency and parental smothering.
Indulgent ~ Responsive, undemanding, short-sighted approach. Parents give offspring everything they wish, but fail to establish rules. Offspring become spoiled to the nth degree, may not understand boundaries, how to treat others respectfully, and that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
- Pros: Once offspring recognize parental deficiencies, they can overcome experiences by learning appropriate behaviors.
- Cons: The potential is high for offspring experiencing NPD/anxiety disorders.
Neglectful ~ Laissez faire, non-involved, non-responsive, short-sighted approach. Parents are involved in their own lives and social functions, and not their offspring’s. They provide for their children with the necessities in life, but fail to instruct them about appropriate behaviors and supervise them. Offspring are constantly getting into all sorts of difficulties. There aren’t meaningful conversations, thus parents are unaware (unconcerned?) about the feelings of offspring.
- Pros: Offspring can move beyond their upbringing by learning appropriate behaviors.
- Cons: Child abuse. Some of these parents could be experiencing NPD because of their self-indulgence. Offspring could become engaged in non-criminal negative behaviors (i.e., ASPD Level 1) throughout their lifetime, or incarcerated for far worse.
I look forward to your comments.